Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize