Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
