Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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