I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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