look no pants
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
