I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think people are normalizing furries
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
