It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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