every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
