I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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