oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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