I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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