You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My Sexting was not on an AP level
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
