my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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