stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
