Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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