dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
