My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
