Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
