So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
