This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
