And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
