please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
