I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
