drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
