i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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