Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I believe in your delicious
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
