hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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