real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
