i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
