i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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