Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
