Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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