My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
