We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
