a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
