so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she woke up with a sticky ear
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
