well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
