I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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