Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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