So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just want nice things and good sex
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
