Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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