I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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