why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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