This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
