I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
