Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize