she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
