the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize