You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
