my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
