Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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