Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
