What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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