i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
