Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut

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(518): View more from New York

i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again

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(845): View more from New York

that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...

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(214): View more from Texas

The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?

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(406): View more from Montana

I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist

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(858): View more from California

cinco de mayo stole my toenail

(415): View more from California

cinco de mayo stole my virginity.

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