We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
