how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize