If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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