I CAN MOONWALK!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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